I never throw out cards people send me. I put them in a basket on a bookcase. Well its my daughters new favorite thing to pull them out. So as I picked them up and put them away I found myself sitting on the floor reading them one by one. It started with thank you cards, birthday cards, bridal shower, leatherette cards and then I stumbled across the cards I had received from friends when I was going through my diagnosis and treatment. They were cards of inspiration and love. They were from family and friends near and far. I remember receiving them in the mail and the impact they had made on me. Now they mean so much more. It showed me the love my family and friends showed me. Who knew sending a simple card could mean so much to someone. Well it does. The few minutes at the store, followed by the few minutes writing in it and the cost of the stamp is so minimal to you but so great to the person receiving them. They mean so much the day you receive them but now they found new light and bring happiness and love to me. So when you have a second send a family member or friend a card. Its a little piece of love you area sending them.
My story starts before I received my diagnosis. It was Wednesday, December 9th, 2015. The doctor called me to tell me that they wanted me to come to the hospital, it was time to start labor. They wanted to start inducing me. I arrived with my husband at 1 pm that day. They started softening the cervix. We went through two doses of this. At around 10 pm that night the doctor came in and said that they were going to send me home; there were not enough beds in the hospital and that they needed room. Fifteen minutes later the doctor walked back in because my daughter heart rate had dropped. They need to keep me overnight and monitor us. The next day Thursday, December 10th they started inducing me with pitocin around noon. At 4:30 pm the doctor came in to break my water but wasn’t successful. Around 8 pm she was successful. At 10:30 pm I asked for an epidural, around midnight the doctor came in and administered the epidural. I reacted to the epidural with the itches and still managed to feel my contractions. This continued through the night. Around 9 am Friday, December 11th the doctor came in and explained to my husband and I that they needed to get me in for an emergency c-section. They said that I was preeclamptic and that my kidneys had started to go into kidney failure. They began preparing for my c-section. Around 1 pm I was rolled into the OR with my husband by my side. It wasn’t too much longer that my daughter was born at 1:57 pm.
During my c-section I remember the doctor was talking about how she found a cyst on my ovary. She didn’t think it was anything but that she was still going to send it to pathology. That moment right there saved my life….
Six weeks later on Tuesday, January 19th I received a voicemail from my doctor asking for me to come in the following day as they had made an appointment to discuss the pathology results. I missed the call that day because I was changing my daughters diaper. On Wednesday, January 20th my husband, daughter and I went to the doctors to hear the results. I never thought in a million years that the word “cancer” would be coming out of her mouth. She told me what she knew and that was it was called ovarian angiosarcorma and that it was very rare and aggressive cancer. She had schedule an appointment for me the following morning with an oncologist. Thursday, January 21st I went to my first doctors appointment. He gave me reassuring news that they thought based on the pathology test they didn’t think it had spread. Next step was getting a cat scan, that night I went back to the hospital and had my cat scan. On Friday, January 22nd I got the best news, there were no signs of cancer in me!
It wasn’t done there. The doctors still felt it was necessary to remove one of my ovaries and biopsy my lymph nodes to be safe. On Monday, February 15th I went to the hospital for outpatient surgery. My surgery went smoothly and everything came back negative and it took me about a week to recover from that surgery.
My battle has never ended since then. My story will always be part of me and now I deal with emotional part of being diagnosed with cancer.
Thanksgiving is approaching and last night we sat down as a family and ate a mini Thanksgiving meal. We made turkey breasts, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, gravy and a pumpkin pie. We sat down as a family at the kitchen table enjoying this dinner. My daughter sat in her high chair and ate the very same meal we ate. It was a great moment. Sitting there with my husband and daughter. Those are the moments I love and appreciate. It was a quiet and simple night. Even our dog participate sitting patiently next to our daughters high chair hoping she would feed him.
We have a lot to be thankful for this time of the year. This year especially. We’ve had a rough but amazing year. That’s the hard part it has been a rough year but at the same time it was our daughters first year. I wouldn’t change that for one bit. I got to see her grow this past year. From rolling over, crawling, standing, walking, waving bye-bye, giving kisses. I wouldn’t want to miss that for the world!
As we all head into Thanksgiving, we need appreciate all the little things around us. The time we get to spend with our family and friends. The memories we will create and remember for years to come. I look forward to sitting down with our huge families and enjoying their company and all the excitement life brings!
Finding out who this new me I imagine will be easy and difficult at times. I am sure on the outside to everyone I will seem like me but inside I feel like I am different person. I look a life differently, I am extremely grateful for the time I get to spend with my family and friends. Especially for the time with my daughter.
Yes, there are times that I get caught up in the chaos of life. I actually welcome those moments. The moment where I am just a normal Mom are the ones I am grateful for. My daughter is such a blessing she keeps make me smile regardless of how I feel on the inside. She distracts me from the realities of life sometimes.
So as I head into today, I am going to smile because its a great day. I have a lot to be happy about. Time to go order myself a new dress!